zen = amnesia = book = notes = type = profile = nhwc = px
43things = soma = three dog party = fotolog = host

"soon" and "lazy" duke it out

toes cold. cold. cold. fingertips angry with frost. our apartment rests at a cruel 58 degrees. we revolt against using the oil-fed heat in some misplaced fit of willful anti-bush poverty-fueled defiance. and we suffer with some kind of twisted puritan-winter-survivor glee. "soon," we say optimistically with an 'i'm so hardcore' glint in our frostbitten eyeballs, "soon we will winterize the windows with plastic, and then it will be balmy in here." our numb hands gesticulate to simulate palm trees and hula dancing, our grins cracking through the crust of frost on our upper lips. oh, but "soon" never comes, because "lazy" is cockblocking it. yes indeed, a trip to the hardware store and much labor lies between now and "soon" and "warm" for that matter. oh my thermostat tweaking trigger-finger is itchy!

in the mean time, i sleep with a hat on (which always makes me think of that line from 'twas the night before christmas' "and ma in her kerchief, and i in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter's nap") my body swathed in polar fleece and flannel and layers of down and somehow still unwarm. i use a space heater in my bedroom for short bursts of time, and hole up in there like it is the only air pocket in an inhospitable murky arctic sea of an apartment. when i leave my room i practically hold my breath and run on tiptoes (to minimize foot contact with the floor) frantically trying to spend as few seconds as absolutely necessary outside. rushing back into my room, i gulp the warm air and my muscles stop spasming. such delight to lay on my bed and bask (surely it is a good 75 degrees in there).

there is snow on the ground outdoors and my bicycle misses the sky at night, the moon and the cove. she is sullen and inanimate but still ready for action kick-standing in the foyer with hope lodged in between her spokes. of course, "soon" i will lock her in the basement like a captive of winter. oh november, where did you go to so fast?

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my current soundtrack is:
The Lucksmiths - Camera-Shy
The Autumns - Slow Kiss
The Walkmen - We've Been Had
Vashti Bunyan - Diamond Day
Without Gravity - Country
The Innocence Mission - Tomorrow On The Runway
Neil Finn - The Climber
Iron And Wine / Calexico - History Of Lovers
Decibully - I'm Gonna Tell You
OP8 - Sand
Dogs Die In Hot Cars - I Love You 'Cause I Have To

before = after