zen = amnesia = book = notes = type = profile = nhwc = px
43things = soma = three dog party = fotolog = host

2nd shift state-of-mind

lingering summer-weather-nights filled with long bike rides to the secret cove where colored boats bob in time to the distant sound of nocturnal semi-trucks tracing the highway. briney smell and too much melancholy. staring out into the horizon where pin-prick lights blink on long island like mirages of a destination. mars or some lingering satellite afloat in a sea of clouds and smog, a constant bright reminder of how vast and amazing existence is.

editing obits at work is not making me depressed for some surprising reason. i think perhaps it is because i stared death in the face in norway and had my melt-down there beside the north sea. now i just want the stressful ascent of this learning-curve at work to level-out because it hurts my pride. really it comes down to that.

it is october 7th! i am 29! gainfully employed! graduated! where has the time gone and where do i want it to go? where do *i* want to go?

to the decemberists show on sunday in northampton! in preparation i listen to picaresque into infinity while at home, and at work i hear it playing in my imagination. when i go into the cooch cave around 10pm when nobody else is around, i hum/sing we both go down together or the mariner's revenge song. somehow the cave has amazing acoustics.

before = after