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fjord countdown!

in 3 days i will be on a plane headed to norway. talk about a non sequitur of life!

my step-grandmother, who is norwegian, has very suddenly been diagnosed with terminal cancer and my step mother and father are taking me with them on this last-minute trip to visit her before she dies. the strange thing is that because my step mom promised to take me to norway (under more normal conditions) as my graduation present, she is planning this trip as a hybrid vacation-with-sight-seeing and bereavement/hospice visit. i'm skeptical about how this will pan out fun-wise, and a bit scared of how i will deal with the emotional crucible that will be traveling around norway in close grief-laced quarters with my nihilist alcoholic father and emotion-repressing stressed stepmother.

i am excited, of course, about finally leaving this continent for the first time in my life and seeing both norway and iceland. but it seems like a selfish sentiment in light of the circumstances. such mixed feelings! on top of this, i am financially destitute and will by default be reverting to teenager-role again, having to ask my father to buy me things, etc.... no spending money of my own. at all.

hopefully i will be able to get some alone time and just take in the beauty of the country. my weapons against depression are: trusty moleskine journal, running shoes, walkman with lots of good cd's (too poor for an ipod, alas), and camera.

i literally found out about the trip two days ago, and as such am trying to wrap my mind around the idea that i am actually going to norway(!). last night i combed the web for pictures and info. i have become addicted to this webcam of oslo, norway. apparently they are 6 hours ahead of us, and this morning at 4am just before i went to sleep i got to watch still-frames of people with umbrellas walking around in the rain, going about their thursday morning routines. a kind of international voyeuristic pleasure engulfed me. oh technology how you fan the flames of my imagination!

i mentioned my anxiety about this strange norway trip to my friend sarah, and she said for me to think of it not as a 'vacation', but rather as a 'journey'. i like that idea a lot and regardless of family dynamics and sad mortality issues, i think going to norway will be a life-changing positive growth experience.

before = after