zen = amnesia = book = notes = type = profile = nhwc = px
43things = soma = three dog party = fotolog = host

kidney shaped pool vs. urban violence?

today sweltering then swimming in a real in-ground pool complete with diving board and slide. the sweet dusky smell of the suburbs after the tang and bite of sleepless nights in the city. sunset was cotton candy pink spread between tree limbs and i felt like my actual soul was being cooled and rehydrated by immersion in the water. i went in muddle-headed feverish and unable to breathe fully, and emerged (after much diving and swimming underwater and floating on back with limbs outspread) tranquil and steady and clear minded. if i am ever wealthy enough to own my own real pool, i vow to never take it for granted.

back in the city, driving home after dark down elm street (near broadway) we witnessed a group of about 8 kids beating the crap out of another kid. i had never seen anything like this before (except in movies) and it really upset me on a deep primal level--bile rose in my throat and my lungs clenched-up. the victim was being dragged and thrown around on the sidewalk like a broken doll and multiple people were jumping on and kicking and hitting him at the same time. and i hate that i did not stop my car and try to break it up somehow, but what good would that have done i try to remind myself. i would just have become a victim, too, and i have no health insurance, so it would have been double reckless.

i wonder if this brutal heat and polluted air are partly to blame for things escalating to such a savage level? the city in this heat is a crucible, transforming everyone. i feel it turn me, at the very least, into a seriously cranky and bitchy individual. it begs the question: if those kids had been able to swim where i did tonight, would they have still been so angry and violent?

before = after