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super market epiphany

today i was in the neighborhood throwback-to-simpler-times grocery store buying yoghurt and frozen berries when the state's no-tobacco-sold-to-minors sign caught my eye. there was a picture of underage kids and it said something like, "if you are under age 18 it is illegal to sell you tobacco." what struck me was this: 18 was 11 years ago! it has been so long since that landmark, since i was first able to purchase cigarettes legally (not that i didn't get them just the same). i had forgotten what it was like to be too young to legally engage in this vice, how exciting it was to be suddenly deemed adult by society and thus entitled to smoke, pierce my body, vote, and i can't remember what else...

then i started thinking about the whole 'how many years since ____ landmark' question. i think that the aspect of adult life that is possibly the saddest for me is the absence of rapid-fire benchmarks that characterized the first 21 years of my life. now everything is in reference to how long ago something pivotal happened. for example, upon turning 29 this year i was not so much pleased with heading toward 30 (a dubious benchmark i suppose) as i was relieved to be moving steadily further away from adolescence. if i were the kind of person for whom marriage and child-bearing were major objectives, i guess my 30's would be chock full of potential landmarks. but i am not. what i want to have is a dog and a darkroom and a house that can house both of them. period.

let's see... it's been:

12 years since i lost my virginity

22 years since my parents were divorced

9 years since i first fell in love

13 years since i got my drivers license

15 years since i first tried a cigarette

8 years since i first voted

4 years since pugsly died

4 years since i moved out west

3 years since i moved back east

.
.
.
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and i feel like in the proverbial blink of an eye i will be thinking: 'it's been 20 years since i blogged about being 29'.

before = after